The Other Boy and That Other Boy
by Star7
Summary: ""I love you" Kaede stated, flying in the face of reason, common-sense, believability and characterisation." PARODY. Yaoi-but-not-really.  Can't explain.  Meh.


**The other boy and that other boy**

_A parody of none other than myself._

_Because sometimes you look back at what you've written and think: that's shit._

Kaede was looking. He was looking and looking and looking and looking. His blue, dazzling, lustrous, fine and alluring eyes were like bright coals in a fading winter fire around which a poor family might sit. Possible laughing merrily. Possibly not, on account of the fire fading and this being winter. Whatever the situation, the coals were bright, despite the fading fire, which might seem at first a little odd but then it all happened a long, long time ago so that explains it.

He was looking at nothing in particular, thus to render the previous paragraph unnecessary.

His coal-fire, heated, blinking blue orbs of lustiness took in the sight of the red-head's strong, muscular, buff, well-sculpted and down-right attractive sportsman's body. Simultaneously sticking two fingers up at the second paragraph and descending the narrative into chaos when it expounds the small matter that the _red-head_ is also a _spiky-haired dude._

It has never been fully established when or why Hanamichi Sakuragi (and from an unrelated fandom, Kurosaki Ichigo) applied to the government with a petition to change their names to _the red-head_ but fanfiction writers have been absolutely religious in adhering to their wishes by using the new name at least once in every other sentence.

Thus hesitancy is a matter of course when the blue-eyed boy festered with unbridled longing as he watched the red-head spiky-haired dude in the thin-rimmed glasses. Oh yes, he was wearing glasses too. I've got you now. Bwahaha.

The taller boy (which?) approached the other one (erm?) and gave a cool smile. Or was it a smirk? Or perhaps the glimmer of a smile with a glitter of amusement such that his face looked like something you'd see at a planetarium. Or was representative of the lighting section in Ikea, although without the accents of cheap plastic and odd renditions of primary colours and bulbs which cannot be brought anywhere else.

For truly a smile such as this cannot be brought anywhere else. This all makes perfect sense, trust me.

The other boy looked up in surprise, as if he hadn't been aware of the other boy's presence. Yes, despite the fact that he had just been staring at him. You see, he suffered from serious memory loss on account of his traumatic childhood (which I may or may not expand upon later) and thus had forgotten. In fact he had forgotten his name and where he lived as well. But that would be another fic.

In another dimension, Kogure Kiminobu cleaned his glasses frantically.

"I love you" Kaede stated, flying in the face of reason, common-sense, believability and characterisation.

The super-rookie red-head spiky-haired glasses-wearing guy with an oh-so-adorable scar on his chin grinned as if all his dreams had come true.

And then, with a slowness that dripped like treacle, as if the whole world had turned to honey, sweet and with chirping birds and floating flowers in abundance with the variety that would not have challenged the diversity of a corn field they kissed.

There was warmth, heat, burning (in first, second and third degrees), moist, wet, sliding, smooth, exploring, questing, probing, gasping, moaning, occasionally mewling, growling, hissing, breathing, sighing, dissolving, melting, merging, entwining.

Squeezing, grabbing, clenching hands (and butt cheeks), grasping, pushing, rolling, arching, twisting, wanting, fervour, running of hands, reaching out to grasp, knead, kneed and need in various measures.

There was grazing of lips and clashing of teeth and – if you're lucky – brushing of groins (way hey!)

Yes, there was evening kissing, believe it or not. It's all enough to make you wonder how the birds and the bees got accused of illicit cross-species sexual practises in the first place. And what kind of two-headed offspring must they have produced?

Yes, I bet that's _exactly_ what you were wondering.

In any case – the other boy grabbed hold of the other boy (the other boy being the second other boy, not the first one, because the other boy can hardly grab _himself _now can he? Don't be silly.) and kissed him wildly – bordering on rodeo-style in fact.

In his embrace the other boy (second) felt hot like fire, was as untameable as the wind, as impossible to hold as water and his eyes were cool like ice. In fact he was so incurably elemental that it was rumoured he had his own meteorology centre devoted solely to the study of freak weather effects caused by his presence.

"So – when can we start with the hot sex?" the other boy demanded.

"Now, bitch" Kaede said happily.

Roll credits.

-lame ending.


End file.
